Saturday, April 08, 2017

Typical Midnight Conversation with B

Somehow "Sometimes it's better left unsaid." is not fair. How about the other party, they should have know the complete story. 

Well, sometimes we just need to know. So we can erase unimportant bad assumptions.

I am aware, that, even if I knew, it won't change a thing. I just need to know why.

Yes, why that shit happened.

Kadang kita egois, merasa tau yang terbaik untuk orang lain. Menganggap tindakan kita yang paling tepat atas nama kebahagiaan orang lain. Entah apa alasannya. Kadang saya cuma ingin tau kenapa, dan ngga akan menjatuhkan vonis apa-apa. Toh sudah tidak penting lagi, karna nyatanya semuanya bisa berjalan sekarang. However, once again, after all this time, I will keep questioning some of them. Dan cara paling kekanan-kanakan yang masih saya lakukan untuk mencegah semua hal yang bisa membuat saya mempertanyakan hal-hal yang telah lewat, adalah memutus semua hal yang bisa menjadi pemicu percakapan kosong di otak. Seorang teman pernah bilang, "Kenapa ya engga bisa kayak komputer, klik kanan terus langsung 'delete' gitu." That, my dear, is the first world problem.

They say curiosity killed the cat, I know. But just so you know, satisfaction bring him back. 

Thursday, April 06, 2017

A letter for you

When she is hesitating, the wave of uncertainty comes and swallow her. She is floating in the middle of her thought with nowhere to go. Strangely, she can still hear all the clock in the world ticking, reminding her that she has less time left. Panicking, she grabs the nearest branch she can reach, hoping that poor fragile thing can rescue her from the whirlpool of despair. Does she survive? That's the story I need to find out, after I can crawl my heart out of this haunting old memories.

In the midst of all of that, I hope she finally found out that she should not take the journey in the beginning, it is not worth the risk, knowing in the end, she will stay the same. Sane and beautiful, my ray of sunshine. It is a shame that she will never understand how her existence is my reason for keeping my feet on the ground, not hanging on some empty promises.

photos of me: yuliana
retouch: yours truly